I heard the term "Granny Panties" a week or two ago and it just about sent coffee through my nose. I don't know who invents these names that are such a great description of the product, but hands down this is one of the funniest. Although an old term, it's one I hadn't heard in years and with the market full of thongs, boy shorts, g-string, bikinis and french cut, I hadn't expect to hear it again.
A few days later I was reminded of the term when I opened a new package of underwear. The model on the cover sexily showed off what looked like a mid-rise version of a bikini that had the potential to work well under a few garments in my closet. Tiny elastic and very silky smooth, I thought they would be the perfect invisible undergarment. BUT, as I skinnied into that first pair they just kept on rising like a high tide. Up and up they came until they reached about 2 inches about my waistline. Add in small leg holes and you get the picture. Although they were not cotton - all I could think was GRANNY PANTIES and collapsed on the bed in a fit of laughter. At least one family member knocked on the door to make sure if I was okay.
Now the question becomes - what to do with these since the package is now open and one pair has been tried on? Maybe donate them to a new mom to put on her baby over unattractive baby diapers - Baby Panties. "Honestly, really, truly - I bought them in the infant department." Other suggestions for where to use these abominations - Tweeny Panties, Manly Panties, and from here it continues on down into humour probably best not shared in public. All I can say is - they had to be kidding me, right?!
Whoever designed and test marketed these panties should be strung up and shot as there's not a woman I know that would be caught dead in them. Or better yet, they should be made to wear them in public.
Note - Image from the Not Ready for Granny Panties website, yup there is such at thing.