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| Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash |
Fractured
When I began to take steps along
The journey of a new year
My steps were sure and steady
Hope coursed through my veins
I felt solid and grounded
Fully connected to the world.
Over time, though, I allowed
My hours, days and weeks
To become full and bursting.
Travel, family, visitors, plays,
It was joyous after the pandemic isolation.
But I forgot about filling my own cup.
Then it happened.
Six weeks of tragedy and loss
A daughter, a grand daughter
A friend - people grieving.
I thought I was solidly grounded
While offering support and love.
One night I offered a tribute
To a friend I had lost.
I was unsettled and shaky.
The next morning was worse.
The chills, the sweats, the dizziness
Was I getting sick?
As I sat in a cocoon of silence
Expanding into emptiness,
One word bubbled up
From the depths of my soul.
It surprised me and shocked me.
The truth undeniable - FRACTURED!
Beneath all my bravado.
Hidden behind a wall of denial.
Over shadowed by daily life.
Ignored while I supported others.
Pleading for attention.
My personal grief waited.
To deny it and ignore it
Had left my soul in pieces.
It was time to pull inward,
To embrace my pain and sorrow,
Let the tsunami of grief flow through me,
One by one bringing the pieces together.
The healing process inches along,
Each day a step forward.
My soul moving from between
Back to a place of connection.
My tears have run dry.
I will be whole again soon.
So beautiful, so soul searching and aware. We do become vessels for other's pain.
ReplyDeleteYes we do, and it can sneak up on us if it comes in waves like this summer. But still beautiful to share our journey with others. It's just finding balance.
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