Poetry - Numb

Note - This poem is meant to speak about life's highs and lows - that they come and go, and that there are lessons to learn in each state. However, the imagery used might be triggering if you are struggling with mental health issues. 

Photo by Abenezer Shewaga on Unsplash

by Marilyn R. Wilson

anesthetized, detached, frozen,
immobile, apathetic, disinterested,
listless, remote.

There are many times I am
filled with a joyful excitement,
energy coursing through my veins,
my inner fire burning brightly, 
my aura a beacon blazing outward,
swirling, prismatic, joyful.

There are also difficult moments 
when numbness digs in and 
my body becomes an empty space, 
my inner flame barely flickering,
my mind apathetic and vacant,
no siren calls of inspiration whispering.

Not regular wild swings from
one extreme to the other, but
a mysterious, curious life rhythm
discovered recently while I 
daily sank deep into my
practice of meditative silence.

Gently I probe, exploring what
purpose numb might serve, and I
embrace the swings between as they rise
while holding tightly to the ropes
and pumping my legs ever harder
to keep the rhythm going.

I choose to open my heart
to the universe's subtle whisperings
and embrace the lessons offered
as I move from energy to listless and back,
from focused to disinterested and back,
in a pace chosen by the universe.