The Barriers Within

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  Rumi

I no longer remember where I first read this Rumi quote. All I remember now is that I paused to reflect for a bit, then dropped it into a blog draft and left the idea to simmer. It has been simmering for four months now. Today as I looked for a topic to bring to my writing group, I re-found this post and decided to see where this quote would lead me.  

Writing takes many forms for me. Sometimes an idea arises fully formed. Words pour out of me and onto the page.  Other times I find myself letting an idea swirl around in the background until the focus of what I will write becomes clear. Then there are days like today when I begin with no clear idea of where my creative writing juices will take me.

I think this quote popped for me because of the book I am currently reading, and several I finished over the last few months. They all tucked in the need to look within for solutions.  If someone, or their actions, really bother you it is because something within you is being triggered. You need to dive deep to discover what is hiding and drag it out into the light. 

If you are struggling to find love and acceptance, you need make sure that you fully love and accept yourself. Sounds simple? It's not. Our egos are hard wired to protect us no matter what. That means hiding things away, spinning stories in a way that protects us, and causing us to embrace fight or flight when threatened. Layers upon layers of armor are laid over our fragile, scared parts hidden deep inside. It is neither easy nor comfortable to root them out.  

Truth, however, can be healing if we allow it.  When we shine a light in the dark corners and clean the cobwebs out of all the places we hide what we think we cannot face, we open the door to being able to let it go.  If we love ourselves fully, then it is easier to accept when someone else does not love us. If we know we are living the life we are meant to, then outside disapproval won't sway us. The ability to withstand a storm comes from inside, not from the outside.

Self acceptance, self love, self care, self respect - they all start with self.  And they are crucial to being grounded and confident. We need strong, deep roots to weather a storm. However, we do not need to walk alone.  I have a mentor to guide me, a supportive husband who stands by me, and amazing friends that lift me up when I falter.  I read books with a positive focus to inspire me, repeat calming mantras to quiet my mind, and attend challenging classes and workshops to keep me focused.

The next time you react to a person or situation, take a close look at what you are feeling. See if you can unearth exactly what triggered you. When you can, find a time you won't be interrupted to quiet your mind, hold that trigger front and center, and sink inward. Drop into a pool of silence and see what bubbles up. It could be images, words, sensations or memories.  Hold them in your mind, turn them over, and let the lesson you need to hear arise.