A Second Chance

A few months ago I stumbled across a show on the Disney channel called Perception. In it the main character is a highly respected professor of Neurology in a noted university. He is also a Paranoid Schizophrenic who tries to organize his life so he can live without meds - sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

At the beginning and end of almost every episode, he is in the classroom lecturing to his students.  Time after time something he shares  really lands deep for me - a pebble tossed in my pond creating ripples for days, weeks or even longer. Such was the case when he shared this gem.

In our lives we all deserve a second chance, we just have to be brave enough to see.

Every time I read that sentence I have a physical reaction. Every time. And I am still trying to wrap my mind around all the reasons why. Reactions like this come when we have something hiding deep down pushing to be brought into the light. If this happens to you, take note of what triggered the reaction and then try to spend some time in quiet reflection to see what bubbles up.

There are several things that come to mind when I consider second chances - some positive, and some negative. I grew up in a very religious environment. Second chances were always considered possible, but only if you embraced the theology and committed to the lifestyle. The implication was we couldn't possible do what was necessary to earn a second chance on our own. This was only possible if an outside power stepped in.

As I grew, the world around me offered some very negative feedback. Two phrases that come to mind are once a cheater, always a cheater, and a leopard can't change it's spots.  No second chances are going to happen in that scenario as it implies change isn’t possible. How depressing.  I lacked confidence and struggled to fit into my strict community.  I wanted to be accepted, and assumed that meant changing everything about myself.  I know now that isn't possible, or even desirable. But back then fitting in was my ultimate desire.

Life has presented me with a more positive perspective over the years.  I personally know people who decided to change their lives and went on to do just that. How did they do it? Mostly by changing their mindset and working towards their goal every single day. They didn’t change who they were inside, they changed their thoughts and responses. 

I spent the last several years focused on personal growth. I didn't want to alter the core of who I was, but shift how I saw myself and my place in the world. These changes allowed me to embrace myself as I was, and to see my uniqueness as having a purpose. It also allowed me to accept my imperfections. I make mistakes all the time - oh so many mistakes. In the past, making mistakes would send me into a downward spiral of shame. No longer. I don't like making mistakes, but I look at them as a part of the learning process. It is part of being human. I apologize, embrace the lessons offered, and do my best to let go and move forward.

What I love about the quote above is it adds a little extra layer to the idea of second chances.  While we do deserve them, we have to be brave enough to not only accept our worthiness. Only then can we act. Perhaps those who are unable to make a shift in their lives need to look at whether they believe they deserve a second chance. If you are struggling in this area, it might be would be worth exploring.

I want to close with something I repeat all the time, but I feel it cannot be said often enough. I believe we are all born to be exactly who we are meant to be. Our quirks, the parts of us we are often pressured to change, are our talents. Hold onto them with pride. We all deserve to live a life of our choosing, one that brings us joy, and we are all deserving of second chances.  You just need to be brave enough to see.