Two Places You Need To Go

When I saw a post sharing the quote below, I started doing a Google search. I wanted to use it in an article, but was determined to credit the right source. Unfortunately, I never did find it.  Most posts list no source or just say unknown. I find myself wondering where it originated and what inspired it.  Will I ever find out? Maybe not. So for now this quote stands on it's own. Its meaning simply what rises from our hearts. 

There are two places you need to go often: 1. The place that heals you. 2. The place that inspires you.

Our world has become very full of noise and distraction.  The amount of news that comes at us daily is impossible to absorb.  We are encouraged to keep learning, be a positive contributing member of society, perhaps marry and have a family, travel, volunteer, keep learning, stay in shape, eat well, and thrive.  The days feel too full, and many times I cannot hear myself think.

What used to stop me in my tracks was a collapse. I would push myself to the limits while not sleeping or eating or exercising.  I would skip down time in pursuit of whatever I felt I should be achieving as a wife, a mother, a friend, a costumer maker, a magazine co-owner. If I was doing everything I should be, and doing it right, my family would be happy and people would like me.  Financial worries would disappear. 

If you asked me if this was really possible, I would tell you no. I do know better. But the old internal tapes from childhood, plus the images all around me in the media, keep whispering this lie in the background. I have struggled to find balance in my life. My health and peace of mind were always put at the bottom of my to-do list. I still find myself thinking if I achieve everything on the list, those last two items will happen without effort on my part. 

These thoughts appear absolutely ridiculous when spoken publicly, but learning to listen to my heart is something I have only began do attempt in earnest over the last decade. The practice takes time and repetition, and it's easy to let it fall by the wayside unless I stay diligent. If I don't make it a daily practice, a crisis is sure the happen that stops me cold. Sometimes it is a mental or emotional collapse. Twice my husband found me on the bathroom floor, totally spent. 

Letting myself get to that point means ignoring the warning signs over several months. It means living with daily stress, or not dealing well with a conflict that is escalating.  I am careful who I hold close, so when difficulties arise within my circle, it can make me physically sick for a few days.  The one bright note, is I do find once I move through a dark crisis, there is a lightening in my heart after. A weight has lifted.

While working with a mentor, I began to learn the importance of making time in my life for inner healing and personal growth.  How that works will be unique for each of us, but for me it involves reading, quieting my mind, walking in nature, stretching, listening to positive tapes, and even enjoying a long soak in a piping hot bath. The last help all the tension flow out of my muscles and tendons. If really spent, I might take an entire day and do nothing - not even take phone calls or answer emails.  Instead I just relax and let go of the outside world. I sink into silence. It is a healing 24 hours of me time and a privilege I can now enjoy that was not available to me when I had kids at home. 

Learning to deal with conflict has been tougher.  I am trying to get better at recognizing the warning signs and make shifts earlier that stop the escalation.  I tend to ride a runaway train until the track runs out. The result? A spectacular crash and burn. The goal now is to discover the right time to walk away, and do it before there are fireworks. This isn't always possible. Sometimes things are brewing we are unaware of that take us by surprise when they erupt. However, most times I feel there are signs early on to guide us. It's time to pay attention.

Last is finding a place that inspires you. Showing up every day to write has opened my eyes to the ocean of inspiration that surrounds me every minute of every day.  I am always writing a note in my phone, stopping a movie to find a piece of paper to jot down a quote, taking a photo, or putting an idea in the title of a draft to follow up on later.  Today's inspiration came from a poster shared on Facebook by a friend. Very occasionally inspiration rises up from some hidden space within. I always find the exciting. 

We are all unique, so how inspiration touches our lives will be as well. The only suggestion I can offer is to walk through each day fully conscious of the small moments.  Notice the myriad of life happening around you. Listen to what is being said whether by live people, in a movie, in a book, or on a podcast.  Open your eyes and see the world you are walking through and the people that populate. Feel the texture of bark, the warmth of the sun on your face, the coldness of a winter snow.  

The universe speaking to you every moment of every day.  It's up to you to open your heart.