2024 was a really good year for me overall. I do have to admit October through December I managed to overbook myself, and that brought exhaustion and overwhelm at times, but I am at fault for the situation. Outside of that I felt like the year went very well.
After Christmas I settled down to enjoy some quiet time with lots of relaxing - I was pretty much a slug - along with some easy socializing close to home. New Years Eve we had lunch out, a bottle of champagne mid-afternoon, an easy dinner, then watched a funny movie. The day was done as far as I was concerned by 7 p.m. We went to bed early.
After Christmas I settled down to enjoy some quiet time with lots of relaxing - I was pretty much a slug - along with some easy socializing close to home. New Years Eve we had lunch out, a bottle of champagne mid-afternoon, an easy dinner, then watched a funny movie. The day was done as far as I was concerned by 7 p.m. We went to bed early.
As I as I started to ease in to 2025 on January 1st, I began to extend my focus back out into the world and discovered last year wasn't great for many I know. The period of Mid-December through the first week of January in particular was extremely rough for many of my friends and family. Everything from serious health challenges, to Norwalk and/or COVID, to devastating life changes had landed in their laps.
I felt so lucky to be in a good space, but also heart broken to see so many I know struggling. While I could bear witness to their struggles by listening, in the end there was little I could do to change what they were going through. I have never figured out how to successfully navigate this type of situation. You know you care deeply, but that never feels like enough. And there can be feelings of guilt that you are a good place when they are not.
As I thought on this today, I was drawn to the idea shared by writer, artist, and priestess Ehine Ora suggesting we need to take the deep pain buried in us, bring it into the light and store it outside our bodies. I had to think on this for a while. In the end, my heart murmured yes, and I began working on how to start this process.
It is an unusual concept to me until I read this, my goal had always been to heal my pain with the idea that would erase it from my existence. I thought total elimination of my pain was what healing meant. Over the last few years I have come to realize that early traumas in particular are not that easy to get rid of, and I began to wonder if it was even possible to ever totally obliterate them. There are just so many layers to heal. I also began to ask myself if they should be erased. It was by experiencing everything from joy to trauma that I have become the person I am today.
In light of these thoughts, I have become more and more intrigued with the idea of storing my pain and sorrows outside my body. Stored inside, they can affect my health. Stored outside they can become a resource I can access when needed. At this point I am still not sure how to accomplish this, but I have found when the universe hands me a new idea to consider, I can count on clarity arriving at the perfect and right time.
For now I will continue to do my best to release any pain as it arises while keeping myself firmly grounded in the present. I will stay committed to experiencing all life throws at me without fear, knowing it will help me reach my full potential. And I will keep my heart open to receiving guidance on how to resurrect any darkness buried within and move it to a safer place outside me. I am not great at patience, so I am hoping clarity will arrive quickly.
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