In Your Face?

This article is a touchy one for me to write.  I grew up in a very religious environment in my early years which I didn't fit into.  While I am not religious in any way, I am still triggered occasionally by discussions of religion.  I have many family and friends who are deeply religious. I do my best to respect their choices and be glad they have found something that gives them joy. 

Over the years I have come to realize that same respect is not returned.  My youngest brother is in the same boat.  When I was speaking to him a year ago, he said something that struck a real chord with me.  He shared that religious family and friends shared their thoughts freely with him, but he was not allowed to do the same in return, to share his thoughts on life and religion.  If he did that he was questioning their beliefs and not respecting them. That they didn't offer him the same respect in return was of course the way it was supposed to be.

Years and years of offering respect but being expected to stay silent on our own beliefs and thoughts had taken their toll on both of us.  We were silenced, but expected to let others have a voice.  We were not to challenge or share where we disagreed.  Again we were silenced.  And where has it led us?  To personal frustration of course, but also in some ways to the chaos happening in the world right now. 

It was about a week ago a comment by a troll on Instagram brought this to mind again.  I had posted a reel of Jamie Lee Curtis sharing about the death threats her trans daughter received. People wanted her dead just for existing.  99% of the comments came from good and decent people who were respectful of diversity - religious and non-religious, spiritual and non-spiritual. That gave me hope.  Then there was the 1% trolls.  Others were much nastier, but this one stood out for me. 

What he said was no one cares about trans people, we just don't want it pushed in our face.  I really had to stop on consider why this one struck me in particular. And it comes down to the same thing.  It is the opinion of the extremely religious right that anyone or anything existing in the public eye they don't agree with is a personal affront and just wrong.  Unfortunately that is not true. 

If you want to exist and be visible in the public eye for who you are and what you believe, then that same right must be extended to others different from you. Period.  No one is trying to push anything in your face. They are just living their truest best life, one they aligns with who they are and that brings them joy.  I am going to give a simple example that is personal to me - Drag Queen Story Time.  I have friends who completely disagree with me on this, so a good one to share. 

My kids were brought up being around same sex married couples, people from different cultures and more. We didn't try to purposely expose them to differences, we just lived our lives surrounded by a very diverse group of friends.  Easy.  I have a friend who is a wonderful female impersonator AKA drag queen.  I would have absolutely taken my kids to any story time they read at.  And that was my right to choose that as their parent.  

I really don't care if a different parent decides that is not right for their kids. Good for them for following their heart.  What I object to is them not allowing Drag Queen Story Time for anyone. It is not up to them to make decisions for my family. This crosses the line for me.  This is them telling me what I am allowed and not allowed to take my kids to see.  They want the right to choose. So do I. I am not trying to push drag queens in their face. The event is for those who choose to attend. 

Anyone who thinks a person who looks, thinks, presents or believes different from them should be silenced needs to wake up. I suggest they spend some time outside their insulated bubble.  When you open yourself up to diversity, when you have friends you love that fall outside the norms, you begin to see life through their eyes.  I didn't fit in a bubble either. I still don't. But I can assure you I don't have the time or energy to be concerned that you feel and live differently than I do.  

What I am concerned about and will no longer tolerate is being silenced. My voice, my life, my purpose, and my concerns are every bit as important others.  Diversity is humanity's greatest strength and our adaptability to change another.  When you close your mind you the door on both, and that holds all of us back. 

To those who are being silenced. It's time. Let's lift our voices together. Let's make a strong, joyful noise.