Love Better, Love Deeper, Love Truer

I was watching a video awhile back where Raine Wilson was talking about a trip he took to India. While there he attended an event featuring the Dalai Lama. He was intrigued to find that no matter what question was asked the Dalai Lama managed to turn the focus to the topic of love. Then Wilson shared the title phrase.

Love Better - what might that mean.  Well better could refer to a higher quality, a more effective way, or even a more consistent offering. I think most of us strive to be a better human being, but we all have days that we aren't 100% in control.  We have times we are triggered by what someone says or their actions. These can be challenging moments to keep our hearts focused on expressing love either in words or actions. To love better we need to discover and heal the broken bits hidden deep within. 

An example would be a conflict I had with my oldest. I said something that triggered him. He said something that triggered me. I sent an email saying harsh things. He sent an email that said harsh things. There was no easy answer. But he did offer one bit of wisdom, that he felt I had some trauma that should be looked at.  I found a counsellor and went to work. What a revelation. He was right. I had been working on healing my past for years, yet I still found hidden trauma that needed to be aired. 

Love Deeper - it seems self explanatory, but I think deeper is harder to wrap my mind around. This is partly because my mind/body connection is very strong. I already feel things very deeply.  I am more likely to try to feel things a little less, than I am to try to feel things a little more. It's time to put on big girl panties and be very brave. 

I looked up definitions of deeply (deeper was too limited) and came up this these possibilities - positively, thoroughly, radically, intensely, wholly, completely, and fiercely. Again as someone who naturally feels things deeply, and angers or cries easily, I find myself feeling intimidated.  Can I choose to love that way and yet stay grounded.  When I read that list I worried I would be swallowed up in emotions.  The work for me as I move forward will be to discover how to love deeper without letting it dissolve my peace and sense of self.  Is this possible for me?  I won't know until I try.

Love Truer - Of the three I am most drawn to this one.  I know it is possible and it is a goal I always have front and center.  Truer refers to real, genuine, authentic, honest, and pure emotions.  Any version of love that does not contain these elements is lacking.  Love in its purest form has no ego attached. It is offered without expectation.  It is offered without reservations.

That doesn't mean that you open yourself to being misused and/or manipulated.  You offer love to someone while standing firm in yourself.  Their response is not up to you. They might want something from you that you cannot give, they may try to misuse you, or warp the relationship. How they respond is their responsibility.  It most rewarding when that truer love is returned, but you can't expect that. 

Love better, love deeper, love truer are all worthy goals. We can only create them in ourselves and then offer to them to the world.  Stand strong and stand true to yourself no matter what the world tries to offer back. What they offer is their responsibility and you do not have to be limited by their choices.