Just Waiting.....

"I suppose I was just waiting for some kind of permission to put myself out there...The problem with waiting is no one is coming. The only permission you need is your own." - Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory

Waiting...procrastinating...delaying...holding off...getting ready...as soon as I........  Do any of these phrases sound familiar?  I spent so much of my life being ruled by doubt and the idea I had to have everything in place before starting - training, education, support, skill set.  Procrastination held me back in every area of my life. As I was reading a book by Mel Robbins called The Let Them Theory the quote above hit home. I recognized my former self.

When I say former, I don't mean I am totally on track and always moving forward, achieving all my goals along the way.  I still have my challenges.  What I have learned over the last 2 decades is that having everything in place is just a delaying tactic.  Taking one step after another in the direction I want to head is the most effective way to reach the future that calls me. 

This is a much told story, but I am sharing it again for new readers. If you've heard it before you can skip ahead. I was looking for a new direction at the age of 50, and decided to answer a Craigslist list ad from a NYC fashion magazine for story submissions.  I had no writing resume - just the knowledge I did well on papers in university.  I knew nothing about fashion.  And yet two of my submission ideas were accepted. Somehow I managed to get the articles written and the photos done, but the magazine folded before my work was published. I was devastated as I discovered I had a deep passion for interviewing.

Next I fell into co-owning a local magazine featuring professionals working in the local fashion industry. I still had little knowledge of fashion and absolutely none on how to run a magazine. I showed up at those first few fashion weeks in my discount store clothes and shoes, with hair cut by my husband - Mr. Glen, the HVAC Technician. No he didn't know what he was doing. I was aware of the glances in the media tent. I really did not look like I belonged. 

But I did belong.  WHY? Because I was passionate, hungry and determined. I loved interviewing and to continue, I needed to publish. I would do what it took no matter how out of place I felt and inexperienced I was.  I would get up every day and put one foot in front of the other, doing the very best I could, learning from my mistakes and always reaching higher.  I put my interviewees first and always worked hard to create an article they were happy with. Almost nothing was published without their okay.

The idea of giving permission has popped up in several books I have read and it rings a bell with me every time. I had no permission or encouragement to start down a new path with no skills, knowledge or resume.  I learned as I went, and that often meant doing things in a non-traditional way. My process was invented as I went along, and creativity guided my decisions.  But being out of step with traditional ways of doing things takes a thick skin, so I had to develop that too. 

The best person, in fact the only person really, to give you permission is yourself. Others can offer ideas and wisdom gleaned from their own experience, but there is only one you.  Your path will be unique. You can listen to all the wisdom around you, but it's important to glean from it only the parts that feel right to you.  You need to give yourself permission let go of the traditional way and create your own uniquely inspired way.  

The other side of permission is giving it to others.  Don't try to hold another back, or fit them in the box you think is best for them. Give them permission to follow their hearts.  I think it was in one of Glennon Doyle's books where she spoke of giving readers permission to live their best life, even if it made others unhappy. I loved that idea.  Did she actually have any way to give reae34w permission? No. But reading the words still felt good.

In that light I would like to offer you the same today. I give you permission to stop waiting for the right time, the right skills, the right knowledge, the right feeling.  I give you permission to leap in a new direction that gives you joy.  I believe.  Do I have any credentials to do this? No. In the end only you can give yourself permission.  And you are the one who will have to face the challenges and do the work. I offer these words only for inspiration. I hope they light a fire in you that cannot be denied.