Still Relevant

No matter how much I knew about being marginalized as a u from the time I was young onward, it has still surprised me how it has played out now that I am older.  

I remember after several years of lugging heavy things out of the back of my car and carrying them laboriously while sweating - totally being ignored - the first time someone magically appeared at my side.  I think I had just turned 55 that week. I literally popped open my hatchback, grabbed a 20 kilo box of magazines to take into a store, and there was someone by my side asking if they could help me. WOW! Just completely unexpected as up to that moment no one had even looked my way.

I remember being hugely pregnant, maybe 3-4 weeks from delivery, riding the local bus home from work. It was full and I was standing holding onto a strap for dear life. Around me were young people, middle age business men, and other seated and eyes glued to their phones, carefully avoiding looking at me. 15 minutes into my commute and 2 stops from where I got off, the 30-something business man who I had purposely overshadowed by my big belly, sheepishly looked up and asked if I wanted to sit. I said no.  Fast forward to recently. The minute I turned a certain age, I was suddenly offered a seat almost every ride. It isn't every time. I still am left standing while a teenager plays a game on their phone occasionally, but it never happened before. 

Then there was the time I shared a video that I knew might be misunderstood so carefully wrote a caption as to why I was sharing it and what was the purpose of me sharing it was - along with the information there weren't proper videos available.  It was the only record.  Of course some didn't bother to read this, then just made thoughtless comments. But the one that got me riled was the person who tried to stand up for me by saying I was old and didn't understand. I marched against the discrimination, stood up for civil rights, fought against the war and violence, as well as racism, homophobia and women's rights from my late teens onward. Now someone thought I was too old to understand. SIGH!

When the opportunity came to pose with women of all ages, cultures and sexual orientations in a photoshoot honoring women's rights, I couldn't say yes fast enough.  In addition to the group photos, I was offered the opportunity to highlight an issue I cared deeply about. I wracked my brains for a long time on how to present the difficulties of ageism. The morning of the shoot I finally came up with an idea - holding a small sign that simply said STILL RELEVANT. 

I love this photo so much. On days I feel the weight of being marginalized as an older woman, on days I am criticized for speaking loudly, or for my position on an issue, I pull up that photo and stare at it awhile.  My shoulders go back, I stand a little straighter, and then I raise my voice again to speak for those with no platform or who voices are also muted.  

A line from Dirty Dancing just popped into my mind, "No one puts baby in a corner." For me it should also say box.  As I age I refuse to fit into the expected role. I refuse to sit in a corner and let others take the stage. I refuse to be muted. I refuse to be controlled by being put in a corner or a box.  I will speak loudly. I will stand tall. I will raise my voice. 

Don't be fooled by a body that has matured. The soul is ageless. Each of us, no matter what decade we are in, has wisdom to share that will lift others up.