When You're About to Give Up

 "Sometimes magic can happen just when you're about to give up." - Jeanne Beker, Heart On My Sleeve

Thinking of giving up?  Don't feel alone. We have all been there at some point in our lives. We are on a path where we keep running into road blocks, doors keep shutting, and answers are illusive. It is time to buckle down and stay the course, or is the universe trying desperately to let us know it is time to change directions?  That's a good question and one not easily answered.  

The number of times in my early adult years I just walked away is high. I had little self confidence and no patience when facing unknown challenges. I hadn't yet learn to find a quiet space and sink in deep so I could hear my intuition speaking. I didn't trust outside voices.  I know I missed out on many opportunities and perhaps my life might have been very different. 

In the end I have come to believe that there are some opportunities lost that will never come again. However, when it comes to our purpose, I believe we will keep circling back until we find it. My deep dive into writing - magazines, books, blogs - didn't happen until my kids were in high school.  I suddenly had more time and threw caution to the wind when I saw a magazine in NYC asking for submission ideas.  I was shocked that two I sent were accepted, but dove in fully. It was at my first interview I realized this was what I was meant to do. 

Over the course of the following 18 years (as of this date), there have been many frustrations, challenges, road blocks and changing of directions.  The hardest was the day the magazine I and another built folded. I didn't see it coming and fell into a dark space for several months. I was ready to give up and walk away from it all. I didn't want to start from scratch again. And that's when the magic happened.

Yes I did have to give up something I was holding onto tight. The magazine had become a dead end to leave behind. But my future magically unfolded after a simple decision to give it 6 weeks. I decided to write something, anything, on my blog every day for 6 weeks to see if I still had a passion for writing. If yes I would continue - if not I would walk away.  Nothing I wrote was mind-blowing. I wrote about things like driving in traffic, throwing up, and slang fashion faux pas words. Each time I wrote, I fanned the tiny flame of passion still hidden deep within. As the flame grew, so did my excitement for where I would head next. 

One day on a whim, I saw a Facebook post for a monthly women's group get together where an independent publisher would be speaking.  Without thinking I signed up.  I showed up not knowing a soul, curious to see if writing a book could be my next journey.  The speaker began talking and my eyes teared up.  A powerful emotion washed through me. To this day I have no idea what she talked about, or what words of advice she shared. I just knew this would be my mentor for what came next. 

Well I wish I could say I blindly trusted the magic and believed that since the universe was guiding me to do this, I had what it took to make it happen.  Unfortunately that life-long lack of confidence took hold. My journey was full of doubt and took way longer than it needed to.  Somehow I held tight to the magic that led me to this moment and reached the finish line.  

When it comes to whether it's time to give up, or a time to trust the magic will arrive, I can only say it takes practice.  You need to create a quiet space in your schedule daily where you can connect to your inner voice, your intuition. And the guidance you embrace needs to come from your heart, not your head. Taking a few minutes every day to keep this connection strong helps keep you from being blown about by random thoughts and worries.  It is so worth the effort.