Our Capacity for Compassion

How quickly have we, as a society, become numb to the struggles of others, our capacity for compassion eroded by the sheer volume of human drama we're exposed to daily? - Shari Franke, The House of My Mother

Not sure if the quote above hits the mark for you, but it does for me.  What is interesting is The House of My Mother is about growing up in a house where the mother was both mentally ill, and one of the first to expose her family's daily life (well orchestrated) on the internet.  What began as a way to make money descended into a child abuse. Comments could be devastating and there was no space or event in the author's life that was kept private. Her attempts to help her younger siblings once she left home were thwarted time and time again.  When I read the quote above, it landed within the context of the book.

Now reading it again a month later, I am drawn to how much it speaks to our society today and what it happening globally.  Book after book, and speaker after speaker, have gone on record warning us about the impact of the sheer amount of data coming at us daily.  The input from social media, news sources, TV and more has grown far past our ability to absorb or process.  And there is no way to sift through all the stories clamoring for our attention to find those most relevant to our goals and beliefs. Even worse is the amount of fake news and fake posts creating their own impact.  I have been caught by a few.

There are so many outfalls from this. Here I want to talk about just a couple.  The first is overwhelm.  I see two reactions that fall under this category. The first is the decision to just turn it all off and walk away. Let the world take care of itself and just focus in on your life apart from the chaos.  While we all need to do this at times, if everyone simply quit pushing for change and to right injustices, neither will happen. It's as simple as that. Mediocracy and lack of interest serve those who want power well, so they keep the chaos up hoping society will burn out and give up caring. They can then just charge forward grabbing more and more control.

Another outfall of overwhelm that I and several others have struggled with is sliding into a dark space where hope is lost.  A mantra runs in the background telling us that nothing we can do will make any difference. The darkness is coming - there is no hope. This can be dangerous as it can be the first step downward into depression.  I have no easy answer.  I personally try to focus in on small things I CAN do that make my voice heard.  I have also gone to counselling for the first time at the start of the year to get help deal with these feelings and find new coping skills.  

The second outfall is the one referred to in the quote at the top.  There is such a thing as compassion burnout.  Pre-internet we only heard of local needs.  A neighbor whose house burned down, a co-worker who lost a child, a friend with a serious illness, or a flood in a nearby town.  Now we hear all day, every day about illness, war, atrocities, and loss from our community, our province, our country and around the world.  Every week I receive new requests for help. The load of worry is heavy, especially as we just cannot help everyone. This one is tough for me personally.  Again, focusing in on what I can do, and what I care most about helps.  It's not the 'this will solve everyting' answer, but it is a start. 

As we all move through these times, with dark stories and atrocities coming at us all day, every day, it is important to create moments of quiet.  We need these times to release the bad energy and to give our aching hearts a rest. And it's important to remember we are not alone.  I do not want to see myself or society lose our capacity for compassion.  We are all connected, and what affects one affects us all.  At the same time, we need to find a way to focus in on areas where we can have affect, instead of trying to help everyone.  Small acts, multiplied by others doing small acts, can add up to create change.