The Greatest Accomplishment

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I can't even begin to explain how much this quote hits home for me, and I know I am not the only one.  In all the studies, readings, mentorships and contemplating I have done over the last two decades, they have all included this idea in one for or another. 

So many of us find ourselves not fitting into the role that is assigned us, the box society built for us, or the community the surrounds us.  If this is your journey, most likely it began in childhood. It certainly did for me.  For others it comes when we are teenagers or even adults.  It might be a sexual awakening that takes you in a new direction, or the discovery your body doesn't match the person you are inside. 

There could be an AHA moment where you realize the religion you grew up in isn't a good fit.  Or it could be you were raised without religion and discover great comfort in embracing one.  Or perhaps you find in a crucial moment that the career you are training to enter isn't a good match, or the career you have been in a long time no longer feels right.

I have had 2 of these happen.  I was born into an environment I was unsuited for.  My childhood and teen years were full of outside condemnation paired with personal feelings of guilt. And while working on my MA in Counseling, a talk with a profession helped me realize this wasn't the right direction for me. What had been my focus since high school was gone in a wisp of smoke.  I was lost for a long time. 

It wasn't until I was mother with kids in high school that I began to gain more understanding of the world I was in and what the possibilities were.  There was a lot of unwinding and letting go that needed to happen before I could move forward, and it took a lot of time.  In fact, I am not sure this process will end until the day I take my last breath.  

What this quote says to me is simply allowing myself to be myself is an accomplishment. I hope you noted as I did that time isn't mentioned.  It doesn't matter if it is for a few minutes, an hour, a day, a week, or a month.  Simply being yourself is a worthwhile endeavor. Congratulate yourself. Pat yourself on the back. After working on this for years, I find it is a an accomplishment that comes and goes. 

Sometimes there are long periods of time I seem to fall into rhythm with myself.  I am in the zone and the outside world can't touch me.  It happens without a lot of work. I accept myself, I love myself, I follow my hearts guidance.  Then there are days I am more fragile for whatever reason.  It is impossible to fully shut out the expectations and comments of others. I still know the lesson, but my emotions are swayed by the societal pressures and unkind words. 

On those days all I can do is the mental work. I go through my internal check list - I am a good person, I am trying my best, I am who I am for a reason, my quirks are my talents, there is no shame in making mistakes, I learn from my mistakes, I have a purpose to fulfill and who I am is necessary to do it, etc.  I left the last sentence open as I am sure there are more affirmations I use. 

There is a wonderful quote that speaks of the very human journey we are all on to be true to ourselves despite the outside world's efforts to change us.  "Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place." - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist. 

This has been my journey from childhood to where I am now in a nutshell.  I have been unlearning what I was taught to be from birth so that I can become who I was meant to be, or even better, to become who I was at birth. I am a work in progress, but I am getting there.