Show Them the Way

The inspiration for this article came from several different place - mostly thing people said while speaking or in their writing.

The first is something author Adam Grant said in one of him books, "...when people can't see a path, they stop dreaming of the destination. To ignite their will, we need to show them the way." The second was a speaker talking about her initial struggle with Bipolar syndrome after an episode that landed her in the hospital. It went something like this....The people who helped me the most were the ones who stepped into my world without judgement and held open the door of possibility until I was strong enough to walk through it.

Show them the way.  I think that goal can apply to so many careers from the arts to physical therapy to many types of entrepreneurs. All it takes is a passion for improving people's lives whether mentally, emotionally, physically or financially. As a writer I have two goals. The first is to offer a platform to lift others up and making their voice heard.  I try to give their story wings. The second is through my own writing. I try to pass on knowledge others have shared with me as well as what I have learned in my own journey.  For others, what they offer will be uniquely their own. 

I have learned through counselling (done at the encouragement of one of my kids), that the desire to show others the way can have a negative side.  The positive way is to offer information and guidance only if they are interested and without expectation. Mentorship in its finest form. They need time to process what is offered and discover what parts work for them.  Help them dream big, to see the possibilities that their future could hold. It's about offering information and ideas without expectation, then letting them choose their own direction.  Not easy sometimes.

On the negative side is the dictatorial instructor.  I am right. You need guidance. You need to follow my guidance. If you don't, you are wrong and will miss the mark.  It is so, so easy when you find something that works for you, or a direction that fulfills your passion, to think it will be the same for everyone else.  Religion is a perfect example.  There are so many faiths, so many different paths in each faith, and those who do not embrace faith for just that reason. We are not cookie cutter copies who all need the same thing. 

For some, I think it must feel satisfying to feel you are right, and to teach THE TRUTH to others. For me, I came to the negative side of the equation from fear.  I was taught that to be a wife and a mother was to make sure everyone was happy and successful. If I didn't something terrible would happen.  It drove me to offer constant reminders and information that wasn't welcome or even needed.  What a joy after counselling to drop that burden. My kids are great adults and fully capable of handling their lives and dealing with their own mistakes. They only need my love. 

Be a light in other's worlds.  Be ready to offer from your own experience if asked or it feels heart-led.  Then let go and let them.  Support their right to decide whether you agree or not.  Just like you hope others will do with you.