A World That No Longer Exists

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

"We were raised for a world that no longer exists. Societal norms, expectations, ways of being, they've all changed." - Tammy Ulrich, The Guiding Parent (not yet released)

I recently participated in an author's workshop run by Melody Owen of Author Nation.  We were all asked to bring a piece of our work to read aloud, about 4-1/2 minutes max.  The goal wasn't to be given feedback, it was simply to practice reading and use that experience to recognize parts of our why we wrote that didn't quite work.  We were split into side rooms ( 2 writers in each ) and read our work to each other.  When we came back together, we were given a time to do a little re-writing, and then repeated the process two more time with different partners. 

Each author I listened to shared words that hit a chord for me.  One talked of  how hearing people talk about religion was a trigger (it is for me)p too). Another shared a part of her thesis - a myth on how women's perceptions of themselves are influenced by men. Then Tammy Ulrich shared an excerpt from the parenting book she was working on. The quote above gave me chills.  This is a truth I had been pondering and sharing about from the time I had young kids. 

History offers many times where the world shifted, bringing great change. War, the industrial revolution, pandemics, and shifting populations affected culture and politics, causing them to move in new directions.  The first half of my life unfolded without any computers or internet.  When you were away from home, you were out of touch unless you found a phone booth. Needed some information?  You headed to the library to do research, or reached out to a person knowledgeable in that field. 

Change began slowly. It started with how I worked, and then spread to how technology became a part of daily family life. As a young adult, there were some pre-computer devices I worked on at jobs, but the first real computers appeared when I was married and pregnant with my first. However we never had a home computer until my 3 kids were in elementary school. It was pretty basic. And the internet wasn't a solid place of research for students until my kids were in their early high school years. They also didn't have cell phones until high school. That was when they started getting stuck, unable to call, as phone booths begn to disappear. Cell phones became a necessity. 

While the changes were slow at the start, in the last 2 decades the speed of change has increased remarkably. Old careers are disappearing and new careers arising at breakneck speed. I was told when my kids were still young that they would probably experience at least 4 careers in their lifetime. This meant they would need constant retraining and to keep upgrading of skills. And now automation of businesses may reduce the number of jobs available.  House prices have soared to the point that home ownership is no longer a guarantee, and many I know are limiting or not having children in response to financial challenges. 

I have come to believe that the individuals who are struggling the most with our changing world are the strong conservatives from all backgrounds. They were brought up, and continue to hold onto, the belief there is only one truth, one way of looking at things, and one way to live.  One religion - theirs. One way to raise kids - theirs. One definition of marriage - theirs.  One ethnicity that stands above - theirs.  They find change and diversity threatening, and they cling to tradition strongly without question.  This helps create the us and them divide we see in the world today. It is also why we find people justifying the mistreatment of "others" and blaming these same “others” for all their problems. 

It's time to face the truth. Humanity is ever evolving. To stop moving forward is to become stagnant, which leads to regression.  Diversity, new ideas, challenges and the ability to compromise are what one needs to successfully navigate the new world, the new future that is quickly becoming a reality. We need to expand our mind, open wide to understanding the changes that have already come, and anticipate the new changes still unfolding. We need to become not only comfortable with who we are, but comfortable with who others are that are different from us.

In all of this, I think of our children. We need to support them in their individuality, and encourage them to explore their world with an open mind. To demand they think like we do, believe like we do, and walk through life like we do is doing them a great disservice. They will end up feeling cheated when they discover the image you painted, the truth you offered, is of a world that no longer exists. 

Breathe, release, open, imagine, accept, grow, change. Let go of old ideas of how things should look, and choose to be fully present in the real world as it is. Lead by example.