The Siren Call of Recognition

Have you ever caught yourself suddenly noticing whose photos seems to appear a lot on social media.  I always find my thoughts divided. First comes the recognition for the huge commitment it takes to be out in support of so many events. I used to do that when I co-owned a magazine years ago, but have found I need more down time in a quiet space now, so have had to become more selective. But a second thought also arises and that is - I wonder how many people are there that committed to being out just as often, but rarely appear in media photos.  Lots I bet.

Recognition is a funny thing. It comes to some people easily. I find most I see often are very deserving. They are kind, generous, photogenic, always willing to stop for a photo, dress well, and have great smiles. Tjeu are also usually either younger or have a very unique style. Next are those that know how to work the media and use it wisely. They have done their research, and spent a lot of time developing the skills and connections to catch the media's eye. Then there are those of means who make huge donations to worthy causes.  Lastly come the rest of us.  

When I first stepped into writing and interviewing, my goal was to become visible to help promote the magazine I co-owned. I had a lot to learn, and needed help creating a new look that was fresh, instead of my worn out mum of teenagers with clothes that didn't fit my new direction.  It was a slow process. I even had to learn how to pose as I am not particularly photogenic. Now, while I am still uncomfortable getting my photo taken, I know how to step in and make it happen.  I enjoy connecting with others I rarely see except at events, and love having photos with them to peruse after the event is over.  These photos always bring a smile. But I am not and have never been an IT person.

There is something very alluring about recognition. It is more than just who is appearing in the important promo and re-cap pics. It extends to being nominated for awards and being recognized for your contributions and/or achievements.  There is no denying it feels good to get that pat on the back, and a, ""Well done. Your work matters."  I was over the moon when VFW took time to recognize my work covering their event for 10 years.  What a high! But needing public recognition to prove your worth is a slippery slope.

There are a huge number worthy people are giving of themselves to help others don't get public coverage.  Their work matters deeply to those they serve, but they are not in the limelight, connected with the right people, or are perhaps are very private. That means what they contribute is unknown outside their bubble.  Does this mean what their efforts have less value? Absolutely not.  Every single person who strives to improve the life of another is to be applauded. Every act of giving and charity is worthy.

When writing my second book - The Wisdom of Listening - I asked a Jewish friend to write a few words on charity.  In the Jewish faith, the highest form of charity is when it is done without recognition of any kind. This is considered an extra double blessing. After thinking about this concept for awhile, I tried it out.  I gave money anonymously a few times in support someone I felt had been overlooked, or discounted.  I put in a good word quietly behind the scenes to lift someone from the shadows. It was surprising to discover the warm feelings these choices brought. I felt like a secret fairy godmother and that was exciting.  I wish I the opportunity to do this more often.

There are times you do need to be public, to stand up and make your voice heard. There are times you need to lead by example to inspire others to act.  But there is just as many opportunities to stay in the background and quietly make a difference, to help in ways that lifts others up without them knowing or creating the burden of debt that recognition can bring. There are many examples coming out now of celebrities who quietly went about helping others in a way that drew no attention. They simply chose to embrace doing quiet acts of charity without any fanfare.  

Only you can know what is right for you.  Whatever you choose, in the public eye or secretly, try not to get attached to the recognition and awards. Instead, fill your heart with the simple satisfaction of helping another.