Interview with Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, Author of Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life

Can you share a bit about your journey to becoming a writer/published author? Any interests or early signs as a child that hinted you would later put pen to paper?

I have been in the industry for 20 years, and many of my friends, colleagues, and people in my community have written books. So it felt natural to me. I always thought that one day I would write a book, as many people in our community contemplate the same.

I have had moments in my life when I enjoyed writing. Even back in school, where I attended literature classes, writing was a significant part of our curriculum. Even after graduating from university, I continued writing for pleasure. I wrote stories and observations, and I particularly enjoyed crafting engaging captions for my Instagram posts. During my early years in mind-body marketing, I honed my communication skills with the audience, which involved writing emails and sharing stories. It was during this time that I began recognizing my enjoyment of writing.

Although I didn't fully identify myself as a writer until later, the inclination was always there. When the COVID pandemic hit and I found myself with ample free time, I finally sat down and started writing the book. As I progressed, my message took shape.

After completing the book and entering the publishing phase, I began to realize that I had become an author. It was a gradual realization that came to me later on, but there had always been signs that I found joy in writing. Writing a book wasn't solely a business decision; it was an expression of my creative self as a writer.

What inspired this book? Why was this the perfect time in your life to offer it to the world?

The book I wrote was a natural result of my personal journey and experiences. After being involved in personal growth for two decades and having a background as a speaker, it felt almost inevitable to write a book at some point. Many of my friends had already written successful books in various fields, so it became a normal expectation, akin to attending dinners and parties.

However, the real challenge lay in finding my unique message. It can be tempting to regurgitate ideas that deeply resonate with us and that we enjoy discussing. But for my book, it all started when I sensed that my message had reached a point where it was ready to be shared with the world. The genuine motivation behind writing the book was my strong desire to impart something meaningful and valuable to others.

Review HERE!

How does the writing process work for you? Do you schedule a time every day, work madly when inspiration hits or ?

The most effective approach for me was waking up early in the morning, usually around six or seven (during COVID, it was closer to seven due to a shift in routines). My mom would kindly bring me coffee, and I would take advantage of the two hours of peaceful writing time while everyone else was still asleep. I would sit in my bedroom, gazing out the window at the awakening street. This was truly the most productive and conducive environment for me.

During the day, I would occasionally conduct research, as it was easier to fit into the gaps between various tasks. However, when it came to the actual writing, I needed to block off dedicated time with no distractions while the rest of the world was asleep. This allowed me to immerse myself in the creative process and channel the information effectively. As I progressed and focused more on refining the structure, I would occasionally write in a café, but the initial creative process took place in the early morning hours from seven to nine.

Who is this book written for? They only take one thing away from the book, what do you hope that will be?

The book is for everyone who strives to be a better version of themselves and at the same time forgets about who they really are, forgetting that they are indeed awesome, despite all the flaws they think they have.I want to help them get reacquainted with themselves.

My book aims to leave readers not only with a message but also a powerful feeling. It's about experiencing a deep sense of peace within oneself. When you find that inner peace and truly accept who you are, incredible things can happen. It becomes the starting point for personal growth, self-improvement, and making a meaningful impact. So, the journey begins with finding that inner peace and embracing your authentic self.

You encourage readers to sever their connection between self-perception and the outside world? This can be hard if you're in the public eye. What tools or techniques help you to do this?

It can be tough for people. We often rely on others' opinions to determine our self-esteem, even without realizing it. Subconsciously, we end up training people to treat us a certain way based on our own beliefs about ourselves. It's like a chicken and egg situation. We have our own internal opinion about ourselves, often unaware of it, and we project that onto the world, shaping how people perceive and treat us. However, the funny thing is that we then base our self-worth on how others treat us, creating a potentially never-ending cycle. This is one of the reasons why severing that connection can be challenging.

Now, what if you're in the public eye? Does it make it even harder? Well, being in the public eye means encountering more opinions, which can be overwhelming. Some people may express their thoughts bluntly or without civility, and their words may hurt. However, how you choose to receive those opinions is crucial. On the other hand, when you're in the public eye, many of those opinions come from individuals who don't know you personally or have any understanding of your life journey. Detaching yourself from their uninformed perspectives becomes somewhat easier because, first and foremost, you don't know most of these people, and they don't know you. How can they have a truly informed opinion? Moreover, the variety of opinions allows you to selectively focus on the supportive and growth-oriented ones, while disregarding unsolicited and uninformed ideas.

Nevertheless, everyone's circumstances are different, and how they handle opinions depends on their worldview. My advice is to create a filter between others' opinions and your own well-being. For example, you can have someone handle initial customer support, going through feedback and providing you with the main ideas without the emotional and uncivil layers. This way, you can be aware of questions and objections without getting overwhelmed by insults or personal attacks. In my case, sometimes I choose not to engage with unsolicited opinions that have the potential to be unhelpful or foolish. Instead, I focus on things that are supportive, constructive, and contribute to personal growth. It takes practice and an understanding that people's opinions often stem from their own insecurities and worldview rather than being a true reflection of you.

In conclusion, it's essential to create a barrier between others' opinions and your own well-being. Surround yourself with supportive voices, filter out unnecessary negativity, and remember that people's opinions are often more about themselves than about you.

What would you most like readers to know about you?

To be honest, I tend to lean more towards introversion and find solace in a tight-knit group of familiar individuals. It takes me a while to feel comfortable enough to reveal my true self. Although I may come across as amicable, interacting with strangers can be mentally draining for me. Coming from a classical Northern European heritage, establishing connections often demands patience. However, once those connections are formed, they hold a special place in my heart.

I would love to close with a favourite quote of yours. Why is this one special to you?

Life is too short to be taken seriously. - O. Wilde. It describes me perfectly :)

The only person whose rejection you have to fear is your own. As long as you can accept yourself, the world has no choice but to accept you as well. And if it doesn’t, you won’t give a damn anyway. - from my book. It perfectly summarises the whole idea behind it.

Links:

Website - www.kristinamand.com
Instagram - www.instagram.com/kristinamand/
Youtube - www.youtube.com/channel/UCpvwDq4ZFy3fYOhR5rpOCKw/
Facebook - www.facebook.com/kristinamand
Linkedin - www.linkedin.com/in/kristina-mand-lakhiani-73168414/