Fall, Trip, Stumble, See

"Since my twenties, I’ve learned to fall better, to trip over change, to stumble over my own sense of what the poem should be and to see the wisdom of falling." - Canadian poet Don Domanki, Canadian Poets in Conversation

Fall better. Trip over. Stumble over.  When I read that line a few days ago, I quickly copied it down and let it simmer.  Fall, trip, stumble. Then there is the clincher at the end, "...see the wisdom of falling."  While he was referencing poetry, I of course was thinking about these ideas on a broader platform - my life's journey.  

Fall, trip, stumble, see.  A four word mantra that may have some relevance as I move through the start of my new decade.  With the chaos in the world, I have found my normal focus and daily work habits have taken a hit.  My creativity seems to have shriveled - not gone, just not working in high gear. And my muse seems to be on vacation while for me to get back to work and ready to fly. In talking to others it seems a lot of us are having this issue.  

Fall, trip, stumble, see.  There is no doubt in my mind that there will be mistakes made while I am in such an unfocused state.  When my mind is zoomed in and my creativity on fire, I can hear that inner guidance clearly.  When my mind is distracted and foggy, the opposite is true. That same inner voice struggles to be heard over the static.  I am way more likely to fumble along making wrong turns. 

That's doesn't mean I don't regularly make mistakes. I do. It's part of the learning process.  I understand that.  But I put making mistakes when trying new directions or opening the door on new opportunities less concerning.  The bad choices that happen because I am not fully in the moment are harder to bear.  These can add to the weight already resting on my shoulders. 

Somehow I need to look at both types of failures in the same way.  No matter why I am struggling, I need to learn to fall better.  Trial and error is an important part of the learning process.  Dyson made 5127 prototypes before landing on the vacuum design that became a huge success. That means he "failed" 5126 times. Each taught him something that took him one step closer to success. 

I have to be honest, while I have great admiration for his determination, I hope I never have face that many restarts to reach the finish line on a single project. As I am already behind on soft deadlines for several tasks, it's time to start  digging in despite the less than ideal headspace I am in at this moment. I have come to the realization that waiting for the chaos to pass won't work as the world's troubles most likely won't settle any time soon.  

To help keep mself moving forward I am going to try to keep a visual in my mind of falling better, tripping over change, stumbling over preconceptions and seeing the wisdom of trial and error. I also need to let go of worrying about where I am heading. I intend to hold these visuals in my mind as a comedy sketch being played out, embracing the humor they offer - a bumbling physical comedy to ease my worry as I work towards my goals. Hopefully it will also help to keep me from being distracted by things I cannot change.

With each step forward, with each new project, with each new challenge, with each door that closes and each new door that opens, I will continue make progress. I can do it.  Eyes on the prize.