In Order to Change the World

"In order to change the world, you must first change yourself. In order to have the right to see what is wrong with the world, you must first earn that right through seeing what is wrong with yourself...we become influencers, leaders and teachers in this world, by performing within ourselves the purging that we wish to see take place in others.” ― C. JoyBell C., Author

I stumbled across this quote on Goodreads today - and it resonated deeply. I have heard this idea shared by many people lately - writers, religious leaders, and others in the public eye. While each words a bit it differently, the piece of gold offered is always the same.  All change starts within you. I thought C. Joybell C.'s words were the clearest. They offer a frank telling what what change within means. I don't usually share this long of a quote, but I think every word was needed. 

As we all know, personal growth can be demanding and difficult.  It requires us to be self-aware, to see both our positives and negatives, to not make excuses for our faults, and to commit to creating positive change internally.  I heard 2 terms recently that I loved.  One was "...leading the examined life," and the other "inwardness."  They both offer a unique word picture of what living a life of self-reflection and personal responsibility can mean. 

Human nature has a self-protection bent that has us making excuses or explaining away our faults. It pushes blame outward onto others shoulders.  And whether we admit it or not, we are most critical of the faults of others that have a basis in our own.  Not happy with how we look?  We are critical of the looks of others.  Not absolutely grounded in our beliefs, we energetically challenge any belief different than our own.  

The need to prove we are right, perfect, on the right path, the holder of the truth, is a terrible master.  It divides us from family, friends, and community in the worst way, sometimes ruining any chance to heal the wounds created. We lose connections that could support and lift us up. It is so pointless. Diversity is not our enemy. It is our humanity's greatest strength and is important to our resilience as a species. 

What option is there?  An examined life - an inwardness - where we look deep within to create change. Our reactions to the beliefs or actions of others are the clues hinting at where we need to start exploring.  I sadly have lost friends because of our very different political beliefs. As our divide grew, I kept looking inward to find a way to live with our differences, and for our commonalities.  Instead questioning their political choices, I spoke of our love of family and friends, our shared joy at exploring the world, and our desire for the world to be a better place. Sadly it wasn’t enough, but I learned so much in the process.

Each time I am faced with changes I want to see in the world, my journey now starts by going inward to see what changes are needed within first. I will no longer allow any self-righteous casting of stones to come from me. Self-reflection, purging, and making sure I am solid in who I am, what I believe, and why I am lead to speak up are important precursors.  Some days I am better at that than others. Yes I still have times anger drives my actions, but I learn from each incident and continue to grow. Always remember, it's okay to be different, BUT you must also allow others to be different as well. 

Never be afraid of what you will learn by looking inward. We all have flaws, we all have work to do.  It is the human experience.  As we face our faults, we grow wiser and more effective in our efforts to create positive change.  Instead of us versus them, looking inward leads to building bridges with others who are leading the "examined life." We can then raise our voices together, creating a powerful force to be reckoned with.