Thankful For The Mud And The Muck

“The lotus represents the idea that the mud and muck of life’s challenges can provide fertile ground for our development.” - Jay Shetty

Today I am thankful for the internet. I had quickly jotted down something about "mud" and "muck" and "fertile ground" one day, and just now, when I looked at the note, I found I had lost the connection where it came from.  Thankfully a digital search helped me remember.  I heard the idea mentioned while listening to Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty.  I was driving at the time.  By the time I parked and could make a note, I only remembered a few words. I also forgot to note the source.

This idea ties in with other books I have been reading.  Shetty shared about our challenges and difficulties creating a fertile ground for our growth. In The Choice,  Dr. Edith Eva Eger spoke about how past traumas are always with us, but we can remove the power they have over us and choose to have a joyful life. We can learn from them without giving them space in the present. These represent just two views of how to not let our past hold us back or define us. I am sure there are more. 

For me, the best place to begin when I am struggling is to go back as far as I can remember and see what pops up - moments, experiences, fun times, traumatic times, joys, sorrows, high's and low's. I didn't have a happy childhood or teen years, so these memories are sparse and foggy.  When one does arise, I need to pause and sit quietly to let this forgotten moment arise. With each memory I try to check in to see what physical and emotional responses accompany it, as well as what negative messages it creates. 

After those quiet moments of re-experiencing and exploring a negative moment in my life, I make a conscious effort to not just try to move on, but take whatever time is needed to release them. This is never a one shot deal for me. There are regular repeats where something dark arises again from my past that stops me in my tracks or sucks away my confidence. In response I have created a habit to repeat that involves positive mantras, breath work and movement.  It gets easier every time I do use it.  Note - I think it is important pause here to affirm that serious, life-altering traumas should be explored with the help of a professional who can guide, support and keep you emotionally safe.  

I was led to believe if I dug deep, turned a light on the dark places, and did the work to heal them, those negatives from my past would fade away, never to return. It was discouraging to discover that is not true. However, it is a joy to learn I am not alone, and that I can thrive despite the dark moments in my past.  Seeds were planted in those harsh experiences that grew into knowledge, offering me the guidance I need to fully become the person I was born to be. I am who I am, good and bad (yes we all have a dark side), because of my unique journey. 

While my past will always be there, the memories I hold are threads woven into the very fabric of my soul, I finally understand I no longer need to be chained to the story they hold.  I move forward grateful for where I am and what I have learned about myself.  And when my past rises and tries to take root in my present, I will repeat the steps I have created to quiet its voice and place it back in the past where it belongs.

Whether you look at the mud and muck of your past as fertile ground, or prefer the approach of removing its power, know you are in charge. You have a choice. And if you find you need support in this process, there are wonderful professionals ready and willing to guide, support and keep you safe through the process.