Everything's a Story

"...everything's a story, everyone a tale told." - Christina Applegate, You With the Sad Eyes

It's funny how you can be reading along and a line literally jumps off the page at you. When reading Applegate’s memoir, the quote above did just that. I began my writing career by interviewing people and writing articles for magazines on them.  My twitch from the start was to hear their life story. I was brought up in a very limiting time and place, so was fascinated by others who either were not, or who managed to walk away and chart their own path. They had so much to teach me. 

I always started interviews with where were you born and what were you like as a child.  I would lean in, listen intently, and soak up everything they shared. They could tell I really DID want to hear it all, and that seemed to open a door for them.  As they shared I learned to listen very carefully for the hints they dropped as to what they really wanted to share about their lives and their passions.  It took time, but I got pretty good at it. 

While I tried to keep these interviews to 60 minutes (otherwise it took days to transcribe), there were times the person and I connected on a deeper level and the interviews could stretch to 2-3 hours.  During the long ones we laughed together, shared our difference and similarities, and ar times we cried together. COVID put an end to my in-person interviews. There are good things about changing direction, but I do still miss the personal connections I made, and the feelings that radiated off others as they shared. 

Over the years, I have come to believe everything is a story. Applegate also believes this, but she also shared that we alter and edit our stories.  Even she will read through her old diaries and see things written that she doesn't remember that way.  Our inner voice is always processing, fine tuning, and sometimes altering our memories to fit what we would like to have occurred.  It has been interesting as a mother of 3 grown children to stumble across memories of a strong moment and see the differences in everyone's view of what was said and done. 

This editing is the human condition.  It is why I love when people share their own stories rather than having them told by the people around them.  I accept that the version they share is filled with memories altered by their own filter. I am okay with that. I still get a glimpse of who they are deep inside, and that's what I like to explore. If I interview their friends and colleagues, they will run that person's life through their own filters, and it's just not the same. But never forget, everyone’s story gets edited. I only take exception when someone has an agenda and outright lies about their past.  You only have to look at Trump for an example of someone re-writes everything to suit their ever changing agenda.. 

Where does this leave us?  Walking through our life via the stories we embrace.  It's often not about clear reality. It's about journeys that evolve through the inner stories our experiences create.  I think artists of all kinds are particularly attuned to this process.  No matter what happens in their lives, their art comes from a place of creativity that takes those threads and weaves them into something original. 

Let the stories around you flow. Listen carefully for the germ of truth that drives them. And hold your own stories dear.  While every date, time, and minor fact might slide around a bit, the core of the story, its meaning and purpose in your life, should always rise to the top and be in alignment with who you are.